MEMORIES #2: THE LOVE TRAGEDY

Back at home in Kumasi, there was this handsome boy in my area who every girl was crushing on, including myself. He lived four houses across mine, and could hardly be seen in the area playing with the other boys; he was always home or outside sitting on their wall with some other guys chatting. He was about 13 or 15 years I think but liked the company of adults and you could see the reflection of that maturity in his behavior and how he spoke. He also had this nerd look although he was without a lens. A reflection of his intelligence was noticed from his fluency in the English language and how well he could choose and combine dictions. He had those big bags for school and his black shoes were always polished and shiny and had a sincere, true white socks – never off white like yours when you were in the Junior high.

Every teen knew Mr Quophi; an extreme prim and proper old man you could not enter his gates at a certain time of the day. He had his life standards so high that no one could measure up to him. His house stood out in the area – a two storey building with nice painting and flower plant decorations. It was not a surprise to have people admire it twice and even tenth time but when he catches you, he may probably ask you to stand right there for interrogations because you’re a thief that very moment until proven otherwise. Ho! He was really someway. It was the only house we couldn’t pluck mangoes. He will intentionally close his back gate and release his dogs if you try using there as a short route to the football park. He was really wicked, but he had a lovely son called Kofi – my crush – my clash!

Kofi was the guy every girl desired to date then. Well I can’t say for now cos it’s been years. He had an amazing swag from the other guys and always looked sharp in his colored polo shirts. You could not look at him twice and pass, you’ll obviously steal glances again. He had a very nice eyes with a smoky eye lid. Everything in his face looked proportional to the other; Pointed nose, equal lips – nude colored lips and the diastema made his face handsome to behold.

The first time I loved Kofi was on one evening when he passed a kind comment about my complexion and hairdo when I met him on my way home from the saloon. Prior to that, it was the ‘well I love him but couldn’t tell’ kind of thing. We were not even acquainted to start with. The comment was straight forward but the girl was so excited to have that come from her all time crush! You know what I mean. So I decided to demand an explanation just to prolong the conversation. I needed this time with him because It was all I longed for because na )d) no ataa me aky3! Ad3n? (Meaning I was so heads over heels in love with him). He kept saying one thing, “you should understand” but I refused to. The explanation led to another question and another question and boom! We were almost two hours gone. We spoke and laughed and confessed our sentiments. I could not believe my eyes that I was talking to Kofi. I felt privileged knowing I’m the second girl he’s spoken to. The girls who passed by at that time (around 6pm) with their refuse bin looked whispering to themselves about us: the same jealousy people show towards those who achieve their dreams. I was not surprised.

The favorite part was the anticipation for something more when Kofi finally admitted he liked me.

“I thought you never did!”I exclaimed “well yeah, maybe I didn’t want you to know. Because I have noticed how the girls behave towards the guys when they ask them out. I find it very pathetic but I think you’re different”

I could scream! My heart was dancing and my mind felt like bursting out! My eyes were watering, I could not help it. It was typical of those moments you wish were forever. The feeling was very sensational and the atmosphere was too right. Everything around us felt so much alive. I was numb to the cold weather and the mosquitoes that were sucking my blood. We sat right in front of a smelly-choked gutter but I smelled nothing.

Somewhere around 7pm, we saw Maame Nyarko heading towards Kofi’s house and he perceived she was after him so he asked for his leave. It was just a peg oo and he left. “Kofi” he turned on my call but I felt it was too early to ask that question so I paused “….. never mind. Hope we meet again. Goodnight”. He turned and left while my heart was screaming out for him as he headed out. Maame Nyarko suddenly became an enemy.

I realized Maame Nyarko was the only girl Kofi spoke to and played with – almost frequent. I wondered why. She was not any pretty special kind of girl too; she was a skinny colored girl with “squirreled -ears” who was in the same school with him and lived adjacent his house. I spoke better than she did, dressed better and walked better than she did. Although I was convinced through our conversation that I’m one different girl on his list, I still felt I was in competition with her.

They spoke too often and were escorts on each other’s errands. I didn’t understand and I felt Jealous! On several occasion I felt like screaming “Kofi is my boyfriend so stay off” to her so she understands but I could not because he just said he liked me not be my girl with the pleasure to say YES! My decision to help her understand our relationship led to a tragedy, one that I regretted instantly but I laugh over it today. It brought down the remarkable impressions he had about me and ended the beginning of a love story. You’re wondering what I did? Of course I told her to stay off! Kofi heard. Kofi got bored. The love turned into hatred.

THE DAMN END!!!

I could still remember the disdainful look he gave me when he met me at the back of his house one afternoon after school; I had myself all soiled up with dirts. It had rained that afternoon and had a mud splash on my uniform and body by a reckless driver.

Kofi became entirely bitter towards me but ironically, how he treated me, made me love him more. He became the wind I could feel but never catching in an embrace.

#lovesucks@12!

(C) eunice Godbless 2019

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BUILD TO THE HEIGHT OF WISDOM.

Every great, mighty and deep thing always has a small beginning. The growth always depends on the foundation. If the foundation is firm and strong, its ability to hold or retain what ever is built on, is sure. “ Before dating, I never got to understand why David, my husband, was so careful entering into a relationship with me. I thought he didn’t like me but wanted to hold unto me. My principles wouldn’t agree so we fought a couple of times. I wanted to end this whole friendship with benefits thing but he still insisted we build our beautiful friendship to prove compatibility. “for how long Dav?” I yelled at him anytime we had the relating issue. He is too slow, I thought. But, he always had his plan and principles. I remember the day he took me to his construction site and walked me closer to the tallest project they have ever done. He pointed and said, “look there, that’s the most challenging project we have ever made. Laying the foundation costs the company billions of cedi’s but its hidden, no one knows about it and no one can see the treasure we have casted beneath this building. It stands tall today because of the investments we made in the foundation. And that’s how I want to build our relationship if we would ever get married”. Well truth be told, I was totally ashamed, confused and excited. I thought the aftermath was the long awaiting proposal but no, he simply was trying to get me to understand what it will take to build a strong, rain-proof, wind-proof relationship. And it was all about having a good, well built foundation. Our foundation is God and our true friendship and by His Mercies and Grace, He has kept our wine better till this day”. Mrs. Appiah.

The beginning of every good and eternal thing has its tough and toughest times. Survival is imminent if its foundation was on solid grounds. The beginning of an eternal life, Ministry, a height in Christianity, happy marriage, obedient children, fulfilled life has the Fear of God as its basic foundation; its the acknowledgement given to God that He is sovereign and that He is all Knowing and Intelligent to reign wholly on earth through our lives.

God cherishes humble and small beginnings. This explains why He always raises His beloveds from zero to hero. Rarely would you hear God doing something with the high and mighty. Even if He would, He always humbles them to take their hearts and minds off themselves to focus totally on him and His sufficient Grace. Its His preparation to install in them His Kingdom intelligence – His Wisdom. And it always starts with the Fear of God. This is the beginning to having access to God’s divine Intelligence. Its the small beginning of being able to stay humble to retain His Instructions in your heart and apply them with Diligence and effect. This is a true statement that if we apply our hearts to it, we will build the greatness of our Ministry, Marriages, Child raising, Finances, Education, Profession, Talents and Gifts, and Relationships with no strength of ours.

There is no height or a finished course without Wisdom. Its the highest spiritual Intelligence every true Christian is called to operate in and Is the greatest gift man can ever have. ‘She’ has every good thing the hearts of men seek to make their life meaningful as ‘Her’ reward for those that seek her. Entirely generous and rewarding if only we are willing to yield to God because ‘she’ has everything it takes to bring one’s life to a successful end. Just one word or direction then you are on your way to finding meaning to true life.

What then is Wisdom? Its the true intent( His mind) God has concerning everything His hands every made. Its not ancient proverbs. Its His WORD; The Spirit behind His revealed Word. Its The Spirit that rests upon you with power to practically execute plans as God would if He were to be on earth. Wisdom is totally devoid of self that’s why throughout the bible there is a simple word as “COME”. Come to me, Come and Listen, Come and buy, Come lets reason together etc. etc. Until you come to accept Christ, come to fear Him, come to Fellowship with Him, come to Seek Him, Come to hear Him, you walk on earth dead and as a fool.

God does not need us to play Christianity by fasting and praying though He requires these as Godly exercises to humble our hearts before Him. He always stress on The Little things like COME and LISTEN. That’s the greatest need of every father from his wards. To always be around him and listen. Not just these, but obeying at the end. Its His greatest wish that we come, listen and exchange all our worries for His Wisdom and the resultant peace.

My Child, LISTEN to what I say,
TREASURE my commands within you
TUNE your ears to wisdom
CONCENTRATE on understanding (proverbs 2:1-4)

Proverbs 2 gives out the four (4) clear principles to attain this Wisdom from God and they are;
1. LISTEN; give heed to His Word and The voice of The Holy Spirit

2. TREASURE; value His Word in your life. let His Word Form the central part of your life

3. TUNE; always be willing to be in the realm where He can speak to you

4. CONCENTRATE; focus on getting deep insight into His Word to guard your life.

Don’t think you have attained when you begin to see glimpse of it. Its progressive. The depth is saved for the matured but still teachable because hardly is a treasure given to a child. It will be destroyed. Let’s  check that.
We won’t ever attain any excellence whether Spiritual or Physical without Wisdom. So BUILD TO THE HEIGHT OF WISDOM!

turn at My rebuke,
Surely, I will pour My Spirit on you
I will make My Words known to you
proverbs 1 vrs 23

WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO FALL IN LOVE

So far, in my few years in life, I have come across 47 books and countless articles about love and what it means to fall in love. I’ve just read a few which I’ll give a low rating because as common as they are and have been read by the majority, it still does not address the heart of the issue of what love is, and what it really means to fall in love.. After rating them as best selling books, Many hearts keeps breaking each day, spouses file for divorces every minute. Its getting to severity. I thought knowledge was all we needed to make love and marriages work in our lives. Very disappointing.

I realised, that many of these writings about love were from personal experiences which were very informative because realities were well spelt out and easy to relate with. But fairly not enough. They all had definitions from what they interpretate as love but not what love truly stands for. 

I find Dr. Gary Chapman’s books about love very classic and recommendable to all who ever want to live a love life. He addresses love from its roots by first pointing you to the source and raises the awareness that you need a “self-killing” before the source (God) to make it to the point of loving the right way and to enjoy the full beauty of love.

“Marrying Eddy, I had to make great sacrifices I thought were unfair to make. I was very selfish and always demanded to be treated right. I saw how my dad treated my mum; with great respect and esteem. And I thought I deserved nothing less than that. My parents marriage was the model I always beheld in my eyes to build to one day. Anytime I tried introducing bits of my observations from my parent’s, Eddy would just step on the sand mould I try to build and the sea would wash it away. It became a great stress in my life and was regretting already. I suddenly thought I had made the wrong choice. To divorce? No, I don’t think I had that courage to hold that destructive pen one day standing side by side with him, or out of his sight. I just couldn’t bear those thoughts

I woke up to night cries and misery after we fought ourselves to the point of extreme hatred and retard to sleep. But deep within, I loved him dearly. I felt terrible. Then Karen, an old friend of mine visited me one day and spoke at length to introduce me to someone who had solutions to my problem. I don’t do medicine, Karen” I said protectively. She laughed till she couldn’t no more. She took me to church and introduced me to Christ . I became born again and was encouraged to find a Bible believing church to attend. I had no where in mind so I decided to join them. God became active in me and took me through series of change. From my character down to my appearance. I had to let go of my self to let God rule in my bitter times. I totally became a transformation. Eddy noticed it but he failed to acknowledge. Thoughts were running through his mind but his ego wont make him admit.



All things short, God saved me, Eddy and our marriage. Its been 30 years since we got married 
and love, has never stopped being our lifestyle because we gave it all to God”. Alice

Love is beautiful and sweet when you find the right person they say. But Love is the greatest stress ever put on man. we play it as if it’s the easiest game we can ever handle. Riding on feelings, physiques, riches, social status, fear of delay, ignorance, pressure and blindly jump into relationships and marriages and later go like OUCH, I should have given it some time. These secret words in the hearts of many spouses, beloveds are the reason behind the wickedness people do to the other when they fall out of love and make love lose it sweet savour in our lives. After this realization, the married man or woman bitterly acknowledges the “sweetest” mistake he or she has ever made. He or she seeks an out but for some  reasons, decides to stay but makes sure the other party suffers dearly for it. Its a silent fight for freedom but very hard to voice out. It will raise suspicion and make the tension worse hence, the silent treatment. The “wise” partner tries to figure out and finally deciphers the code. Divorce papers finally signed at the end. So then my question stands, WHAT MADE YOU FALL IN LOVE?

If its anything built outside eternal value, then separation is imminent. Understand this, that love is like diving into the heart of a sea or any water body. You don’t lunch in soaring on your own breath and movements. You have to give up and take another form to be able to fit into that “World”. You need a different make over by simply dying to your normal self to accept another. You need to give up your selfishness and principles to tolerate another if you truly want to dive deeper into the world of the other. You cant be in the depth of the sea and still be missing out on how the world looks like. Something must have persuaded you to go that deeper. So stay. And You surely must know how to control the waters ( emotions)

All the people who ever got drown in a water body was because they;
a. Still wanted to move in their normal realm
b. They didn’t know how to control the water.

Many of us don’t know anything about emotional intelligence and maturity. We hardly invest in it to muster. We don’t know how to control this “water” to keep us in a steady flow in our relationships. We prove the worse of it by saying “ITS OKAY” but will still be the reasons behind our funny actions. We fight with the waves for our rights. We do not easily give up till we are heard and proved right. But has anyone prevailed against the sea? The ability of a lady or a man to muster his or her emotions and to take hold of it, is the greatest maturity.

The foundation of everything has always been God. Believe it or not. Anything God sets His hands in prevails. To Love, to love the right way i mean, is to first maximize the object of love – God in your life by learning about him and knowing Him. He first calls you into a relationship with Him to taste of His Love and its elements and walks in with you into another’s life, holding your hands to teach you how to love the right way. To the young man, he tells him His love is not an open Zip and lying tongue but its Patient and its Truthful. To the Lady, He tells her that His Love is not a loose Jean or skirt, an ignorant mind, money, or desperation but its Patient, hopeful and temperate. It constrains us unto good things. To the wife He teaches that love is not nagging, stingy or cardaveric sex, unyielding,  but its humble, considerate, wisdom and supportive. To the husband, He says, that your love is true if you do it as unto yourself.

To really say you have fallen in love, is first to love by vision. Its to look at the person with sentiment because you see something wonderful taking place or something wonderful God is doing in the person and you are excited to be part of it. Its the long term vision of hope and greatness that excites you to be enduring, longsuffering, temperate, loving, supporting, humble, kind, loyal, selfless, truthful with this person. You are so much convinced within your heart that a journey with him or her, will also help you to finding your purpose on earth. You find his or her character a perfect match for your life and purpose, obviously not overlooking his or her “evil”, but are things you think you can tolerate because there is nothing like an ideal partner.

Love is truly beautiful and should never be underestimated  or ill spoken off because it has done us more good than harm. It has changed lives and brought nations together. It binds different backgrounds together everyday and mixes blood where boundaries were drawn.

Love, is the reason behind your life today. The greatest love of all time, came down on us from heaven. Receive Him first before your best.

Fall in love the GOD WAY.

(c) 2016 eunice Godbless

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR 4 YEAR DEGREE AND MASTERS THESIS?

school and knowledge – they are different masters”

I recently read some articles that bled my heart. They were not the usual ‘hear-says, or ‘hear-write’ ( if there’s a word like that) articles written by ignorant bloggers. They were truths from people who had had encounters with what they talked about, with no dilutions. They spilled out the sincerity of their emotions as served by their encounters. I could feel the disappointments of that Zambian and Kenyan media personnels who came across sincere Caucasians who told them hard truths about the Ignorance of their leaders and how it in turn affects them – in everything.

“The average white man in the gutters, cleaned up and sent to your part of the world will always feel superior over the richest African” said a white man. The Zambian was mocked when he tried to protest against the hard truth but the man pardoned his ignorance and simply adviced him to swallow it. “I am not sorry to hurt you Mr, we rule your minds and your countries with our KNOWLEDGE and CREATIVITY. Mention just two things that has no touch of the white man’s creativity? Even the machines you use in your farms are produced by us and we determine the price of each product on the market. Tell me it’s not true. You people are dumb and greedy! You sleep in poverty muds and no one seems to care. You offer multimillion accommodations for the whites because you always think the white man will solve your problems for you but we drain you into poverty. When will you people rise up and turn to your countries? I doubt you would because it won’t be easy subduing corruption. I question the make up of your brains. You know how to fight and kill for power but we don’t. The white man’s only focus is to make his world easy and powerful through KNOWLEDGE” He said. It seemed insulting as I couldn’t swallow them hard enough myself but they were truths told the hard way. All I kept asking myself was, Is Ghana inclusive of their observations or it was generalized?

I come from a part of the world where if you are not a medical student, a law student or an Engineering student, you are not deemed intelligent. Meanwhile Malaria and other health issues flaunts around with pride, insulting the health status of the society. These “intelligent” medical practitioners will just sit in consulting rooms with white coats prescribing medications, missing out on the pattern of cases that presented themselves which could have been an interest for a study. Various chapters of health issues have been reviewed at various conferences and greedy men make impressions that there is no endemic cases in the country. The Mechanical engineer who completed with a First class honors also fails to apply the knowledge acquired to produce a car. Not to talk of the Civil engineer who can not construct good roads for his own country. Meanwhile, they wrote projects reviewing literatures to measure their good understanding of their course, proposing solutions to curb a menace. It can be very easy getting a distinction, with the breakthrough concealed.

In my part of the world, creativity has never been part of us. We are not challenged to be innovative. We are challenged to pass exams with distinction and write application letters for employment. We have been psyched to look up to the white man for everything. They duly deliver and even retain us to call on them next time. Meanwhile, we studied similar courses in schools. We got distinctions, maybe they just passed but the difference is that they retained their knowledge to use it for development. Scientists are called into researches, Engineers are called into creative buildings, etc while we chew, pour, pass and forget.

Could it be, that our education system is like a heavy yoke tied around students neck and always seek early relief with hope of not being entangled again, so we give up on anything learning? We have still not manufactured cars yet we have mechanical engineers. We still have not curbed malaria and other health issues yet we have public health personnels. We still can’t produce quality drugs, yet pharmacists flaunts around marketing brands made in India, Germany, America etc.

Let’s take a tour to the various offices or basements of university departments and take projects by project or thesis by thesis and we will be amazed to find great ideas put together to bring massive improvements. They have been scored – given highest marks and even low and that’s it – concealed

The western worlds give full scholarships to use us to embark on research projects, to even expose us to various problems and solutions with the aim of helping us contribute our quota to the development of our country on our return, yet we have not improved! We don’t even have the zeal to implement because we return back to the mediocre influence where there is no room for innovations and gather excellent words on papers as  applications for jobs when we could have created one, making our world a better place.

My name is Eunice and I am no different from this disappointment but I have resolved to CREATIVITY!

 

(C) eunice Godbless 2017

THE UNFAIR REDEMPTION

Imagine the scene at Caesar’s palace;
The crowd, the scribes and the Pharisee’s hoarding loud out of fury,
For a reluctant weight to be beared by a Heaven’s Duch,
Soldiers sharpening their swords. Parents leaving the wards. Scribes defending their philosophy. Pharisee’s guarding the religion entrusted by their forefathers…….. crowds shouting Condemnation.
To them, that was Godliness,
And must be heeded with no lowliness.

My heart broke, as i watched him defendless of Himself,
And the whole earth judging his case,
He looked to be a man of a difference;
Meek. Gentle. Righteous. Unfit for disgrace,
But he was caught for blasphemy, when he announced his Citizenship without a covered face,
He was bruised. Beaten. Wounded all over the face.
My heart showed the grimace
and turned the tear which rolled in my eyes as  i imagined myself in His place in a few years to come or not at all – a condemnation from my very people.
At least, i was guilty of murder, as charged
but this man, i saw no fault.

I stood there,  counting the wages of my judgement,
Then suddenly i heard my accuser’s shouting my innocence.
I inquired properly with all curiosity,
and was told, that i had a replacement;
A criminal whose sin bears a great weight more than mine,
“Ha! then crucify him” i said

With no pity and a reflection of how i was just some few moments back, and judged
My chains broke loose, my yoke totally felt light and taken
By a man the people thought was fooling.
But, Little did i know, that, That was actually Christ,
Intentionally Orchestrating time to die that i may rise,
With his blood the price,
And his love the dice,
To clean the opponent’s remarks and finally take me home to relax,
I Barabbas,
Who am i, to catch God’s eye without a reprimand?

(c) 2017 eunice Godbless

If I should choose life,

Then I first must love to die,

Not necessarily lay in a coffin,

But my will, my entire being I am challenged to submit.

If I should choose to Joy,

Then I have to gird my loins,

Not necessarily training with a belt,

But be prepared to be strummed by The Word.

If I should choose Wisdom,

Then I should belong to a kingdom,

Whose Sovereign King is God, love and studious,

And knows ahead, always from the behind.

If I should choose comfort

It won’t be long then I’ll rot

Not necessarily lying quiet and spoil

But my capacity I am cutting short.

If I should choose peace

Then I have to be a gatherer of pieces

Not necessarily broken pieces

But an owner and a maker of peace.

If I should choose money,

Then I have to act corny,

And speak with lips stained with honey

And make people go horny

To get  the girl called Sally.

If I should choose Faith,

Then I surely must ignore my fate

And think just as I was eight;

Worrying nothing, just playing with my mates,

Because I knew my parents will never make a mistake.

If I should choose men,

Then I am no different from the hen,

Who wonders pitifully with her bastard children,

Earning herself no respect.

If I should choose greatness

Then I am saying to myself to be less, first

not necessarily being the lowest

But intentionally making the difference

While I learn to be the best

If i should choose Humility,
Then i must be willing to throw away my Dignity,
Not necessarily without intergrity,
But my Will, i submit to a higher authority.


If I should choose love

Then I am saying I am willing to dive,

Burying all my character’s knife,

And be willing to thrive, for love.



If I should choose knowledge – Discernment

Then I must be willing to enrol in the word college facing resentment

Where the Word is thought without predicament,

To build eternity in me, in moments



If I should choose friends,

I may be the best person or a worse flirt,

Though nothing pops to confirm,

I won’t wait to get to condemn.



If I should choose treasures,

Then i need strategic measures,

One that woowly deters and makes a difference,

To own them all in my residence.



But if I should choose Christ,

My life in thousand years will never rust,

Because i will shine forth His Word in His radiance like sunlight,

and i will exactly be like The anointed one,

Travelling far, bringing the lost so nigh,

Fellowshipping, killing our “mines and I’s”

And even our eyes – a pride of our lives,

Living Godly day by day,

To be raptured on that fateful day,

When Christ will come like a lamp? No! a Lion once again.

If I should choose anything, God is worth more!

(C) eunice Godbless 2016

UNTITLED

Africa! My mother Africa

I thought our dawn had come

I thought the darkness that hovered in white over us had been pierced and defeated

And we could heal our wounds basking in the sun

And we could wash our blood-stained clothes and hands that held the last sights of our beloved ones

And we could peaceful lay our heads on your laps as we comfort and sing dirges at the same time

But why Mama, are the sailors back again?

Africa! My mother Africa

What story do you hold in your past?

Why is your pride so agile in shame?

Tell me

Were you a promiscuous woman or you stole a sailors bread?

Did you murder any of their kinds?

Or you have their treasures in your possession?

Tell me Mama

Why do they come after us?

Why do they seize our lives?

Why do they tell the world we are animals?

Tell me Mama

For the sailors have come again

But now, In the figures of your own.

Tell me Mama

When will our dawn come?

#africamustnotcryforever

#stopafricanslaveryinlybia

(C) eunice Godbless 2017

A PAINTED SELF OR THE REAL IMAGE. (II)

“Hailing from a broke family, I tried to live on a low key

My chop box to school, since the very first time I entered senior high school, were always empty am but I was never bothered. I mean it was my norm and I was not sorry. Hailing from a broke family, I tried to live on a low key. I made sure I only bought things I needed, like Gari (cassava flakes) and Shito. They were always constant plus few tins of milk and a sachet of milo. Cornflakes? yeah sometimes but the former always made me feel sorted. In my bag, I had liquid soap plus a few bar soaps for washing, roll-on, comb and a few tins. My bag was a little smaller than a traveling hand bag but there were still space for the universe so I wondered why people carried bigger bags.

We all know how senior high schools are; so many restrictions not like the universities everyone students can do whatever they want. Here, there are limits to what you can do. It’s the disciplinary stage of life where one is ruled under autocracy and ‘do before complains’. Like prisoners, sleeping and wake up times are planned and each one with a portion of duty to perform every morning. Punishments makes it double!. Anyway, this was just a brief. So on the prospectus, many things were banned from bringing so I wondered what at all most reporting students had in there and couldn’t carry too!

As time passed, I made friends in scripture Union and a music ministry called Alders-gate. We were a family and had things in common; God and food. They were our secret bonds and language we could speak together. After every vacation or a home visit, each one is encouraged to bring some “home cho” for us to enjoy. We got tired of the “gas” stews and burnt rice. We needed something to remind us that there’s still a home for us out there. Everyone was bringing in turns even with a phone call. It was a casual encouragement ooo but people were taking it too personal.

I took particular notice of the foods which were coming in. They were all nice and hand made by either mother or the person. These were foods I ate only during Christmas or when my Aunty or Aunty’s family were coming home from Germany. These were very well spiced meats in scented stews or soup with jasmine perfumed rice and fruit juices on the sides to push the food down. I took a keen notice and wondered if I could do same.

I was always praying not to go home till vacation and also be the first to come to school because they all came days after so I don’t commit myself to this culture. I’m selfish? I don’t think I was! How was I going to get money for such meals when what we ate on an average day was way below that? Thoughts of the hunger we go through during the day before supper, made me always willing to reserve my show offs. How my sisters will gather around the coal pot like they were just rescued from a famine-struck land, will even make me give up. We needed food ourselves not for others. And not for show offs!

being real to yourself is the greatest to yourself”~ nee

Only Beatrice could understand after I told her a bit about myself but the rest didn’t and I couldn’t tell them. They complained a couple of times and I had to decide I wasn’t going to eat any of the foods again because my respect was at stake. They were of a certain class with wild expectations and i didn’t belong.

They were always eager to see each other’s houses and mingle with families. It was because of how we all carried ourselves in school. We all looked either rich or okay. We looked and behaved like we were coming from good and comfortable homes. I was in the okay category, at least, without pretense. I seldom spoke about my family and self because we had nothing. Well from their perspective I’ll say we had nothing. I couldn’t call my house home because it was not my father’s. We didn’t eat from the dinning because we didn’t see it as a necessity. We didn’t drink from bottles because we couldn’t afford on a daily basis. We didn’t eat from plates because we knew fufu as our best meal. We were not used to breakfast and lunch because we couldn’t afford a 3 square meal. We took rice and stew without meat because we couldn’t afford, We took oranges after meals but not juice. We only lived the necessity, and hoped for nothing more because we were okay. But I was wrong, there were something more – always more.

to be continued….

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(c) 2019 Nee Botchwey

A PAINTED SELF OR THE REAL IMAGE?

“May be in your life, you’re born to be real, happy and content”~ nee

Have you ever in your life not felt proud of what you had before? Is there something in your life, given a second chance, you’ll change in a snap for what you consider best? Something pleasing to you, accepted as the norm; a delight which makes one comfortable, look perfect and to be envied by all? Something which takes away the reproach reality sets on your life and make you compare, grind, regret, feel pitiful, coils you in, make you look down on yourself, sets you apart, insults you. Do you face anything like that? Well…. Let me tell you what.

When Abigail mentioned that she wanted to see my house, I quivered in my heart. I didn’t know how I could take her to my place, open the gate and probably my room for her to sit comfortably with a chilled water and a drink served before her, left with a magazine to feel at home while I hurriedly walk to the kitchen checking the cabinets for some ingredients to make her a meal. I didn’t know how, because I had none.

I lived in my Aunty’s house at North Suntreso, G.18 to be specific. A big house with a big compound with many rooms but few sheltered place, with only 3 rooms to ourselves. The ‘We’ were my Grandmother, Granduncle, 2 siblings, 8cousins; 7males and a female and one Aunt not forgetting myself. Our eldest cousin was quite old and took one room which he didn’t like to share with the others but allowed 2 other cousins to sleep at his end when they returned from their parents place. The other female cousin also took one room for herself and also refused to share with us because we failed to keep the place tidy on a one-time sleepover. My grandmother had the other and the rest of us nine had to be with her in the same room.

It wasn’t a place of comfort as living with old folks can be very annoying most times. They revert back to infancy and behave just like them. The room always had a particular foul smell which didn’t make one comfortable to relax and enjoy some private time. At least we did, because it became normal to our sense of smell. That was what we had. Disclosing the details of how we managed that small room will be too dramatic and traumatic at the same time. But, imagine!

Our upbringing was a very humble one. We didn’t have even some of it all but we were okay. We were a happy and worry-free family who treasured moments of storytelling under the moonlight every night, teasing ourselves and passing out jokes with grandmother’s insult throwing us into a higher hilarious realm. People who passed by the back of our house could see us. We ate in bowls sitting on the floor with open legs and cared less who was watching. My boyfriend in the Junior high school visited for my school notes in such instances but I was never ashamed. We refused to bath in the cemented bathroom because of the stagnant water afterwards. Instead we fetch water from the tap and bath openly feeling too proud, happy, unbothered. We were unapologetically in our own world envying no one.

“true happiness is contentment”~nee

We had a few rich kids two houses away who would stand on their walls and talk to us while we play outside. You could see they wish they were free like us to play without restrictions but they couldn’t because they had cameras watching closely on them. We had nothing of that sort, and we were not sorry. We were happy, proud, content and Grateful. But not until I entered senior high school, I didn’t know that that was what was termed as poverty.

to be continued……

happiness is worth you”~ nee botchwey

(C) 2019 Nee Botchwey

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